Imagine the elegance of a classic Italian Cream Cake, but with all the effort of putting on a pair of stretchy pants—this dump cake version has all the flavor without the fuss. It's like the Italian grandma you never had, whipping up a dessert in no time, and making you feel a little guilty for not trying harder.
Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish like you mean it—this cake's sticking power is as strong as your resolve to have a second helping.
Layer the goods: Start by sprinkling the coconut and chopped pecans evenly over the bottom of the baking dish. Think of it as a crunchy welcome mat for the rest of the ingredients.
Mix the wet stuff: In a large bowl, beat together the cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk until smooth and slightly fluffy. Add the eggs, milk, vanilla extract, and almond extract. Beat until combined—try not to eat it all before it goes into the cake.
The dump: Pour the wet mixture over the coconut and pecans. Then, sprinkle the dry cake mix evenly over the top. Don’t stir! You’re creating layers of flavor here, not a cake mix smoothie.
Top it off: Drizzle the melted butter over the dry cake mix, making sure to cover as much as possible. The butter is what’s going to give you those golden, crispy bits on top that make this cake irresistible.
Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and the center is set. The smell alone should make you question why you don’t make this every week.
Cool slightly before serving. Or don’t. Who are we kidding? Just grab a spoon.